THE WASTE LAND

No Country For Old Men, 2007. Directed and written by Joel and Ethan Coen. Starring Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Woody Harrelson, Kelly McDonald, Garrett Dillahunt, and Barry Corbin.

No Country for Old Men opens with a series of shots of a dry, desolate Texas, a place that seems unkind to both man and beast. Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) begins to speak in voice-over, ruminating on his life, on his being a sheriff, admiring the men who served before him, and lamenting the way that crime has spun out of control these days.

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CONVERSATIONS REAL & IMAGINED: “WE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG”

On a perfectly sunny day for a baseball game, as thousands of fans swarmed to the dust heap that is to be the future home of the new Twins Stadium, a good half-mile away a small but dedicated group of curmudgeons gathered outside Cuzzy’s Bar on Washington Avenue. They were preparing for their own little celebration.

“We’re geniuses, you know,” boasted Julian Loscalzo, chewing on a fat cigar and quaffing the first of many beers. “My good, personal friend Sid Hartman used to call us geniuses, back when he was all for the Dome,” he explained, his words punctuated by hoarse laughter. “We’ve proven him wrong by actually being geniuses.”

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CONVERSATIONS REAL & IMAGINED: COOL HAND LYNCH

Inside a booth at the recent Back to the ’50s classic car show at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds, Sven Lynch labored in the sweltering heat over a slim stripe on the side of a black ’36 Ford coupe. Various gawkers had gathered, including a pair of corpulent, bearded twins clad in matching Twins shirts, a pock-marked kid wearing religious slogans, and a parade of purists dismayed that Lynch would dare to gild the lily of a classic auto. Lynch steadied one hand with the other, drawing a flawless canary-yellow line. His panache, not surprisingly, prompted one spectator to inquire about a custom job. “Sorry,” Lynch told the man without glancing up from his work. “By then I’ll be back in Stockholm.”

The Twin Cities boasts not a few pinstripers, but none are as highly regarded as Mr. Lynch—or “Von Sven” as he’s known when behind the brush—who has become the reigning pinstripe king of Sweden. Unlike most of today’s custom painters, Von Sven, a Twin Cities native, is decidedly old-school. He eschews stencils, choosing instead to eyeball a particular hot rod before creating a complex and utterly wicked design on the fly. Each of his pinstripes is unique.

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CONVERSATIONS REAL & IMAGINED: THE CHILL SHACK

“I made this so that my daughter Ayla and her friends from Watershed [High School] could have a place to hang out,” said Phil Vandervaart of his “Logville Café.” The café is a sort of a miniature shed/diner amalgamation, a rec-room that ascended from the basement and set up in Vandervaart’s South Minneapolis backyard. Its walls, made of cast-off goods from his sign-painting job, are a testament to his faith in the re-use philosophy—as are the used chairs scattered around the fire pit and the giant spools used for fencing.

Ayla has since left home for college, but her friends can still be found at the café, nursing cups of Vandervaart’s strong coffee while lounging in salvaged wood booths from a long-gone diner.

The structure is partly sheltered by a black locust tree hung with a trio of vintage plastic rocking horses. As the tree ages, Vandervaart hopes the wood will envelop the horses, so that someday, if he has to cut it down, he might have an intriguing piece of art on his hands.

“We do three things with old stuff—turn it into art, use it, or burn it,” Vandervaart said. He knocked on an old sign, pulled from the set of Feeling Minnesota. “These old things deserve to go that way. They’ve served humanity well.”

This article originally appeared in The Rake magazine.

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SANS SOLEIL AND LA JETéE

Imagine sending a spacecraft to the stars, hoping to connect with some distant, nebulous life-form, and you had to choose a single movie from this planet to represent all of world cinema. What would your choice be for this Voyager III? Would you play the classics game, shipping a Citizen Kane, La Règle du Jeu, one of the Howard Hawks westerns? Maybe a Ken Burns documentary, perhaps some rah-rah propaganda from the ranks of Frank Capra or Walt Disney, or the manic comedies of the Marx Brothers or Chaplin.

For my money, I would want to include a film that captures our complex mysteries, something that piques the interest of our distant anthropologist. I would include a film that doesn’t necessarily bowl one over with its technical prowess (for how are we to know if our spaceship lands on a cinephile planet?), but one that reflects a mind as baffled and inquisitive about this planet Earth as a distant visitor.

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CONVERSATIONS REAL & IMAGINED: THE MAN BEHIND THE CAMERA

Phil Harder is an expert at making something out of nothing. He lives with his wife and son in an 1890s house he remodeled himself, an amalgam of retro styles and one of the last private residences fronting the Mississippi River in Minneapolis. He helps organize impromptu movie screenings on a nearby island, motoring friends out to watch old footage salvaged from dustbins. He’s also gone from shooting music videos with a Super 8 and pocket change to becoming one of the country’s most in-demand video directors, making spots for Prince and the Foo Fighters in addition to iPod commercials.

So what can we expect now that Harder is set to direct his first full-length feature film, with a $3.4 million budget and Thora Birch (American Beauty) eager to play the lead? Tuscaloosa may well be one of the most original movies to emerge from Minnesota.

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CONVERSATIONS REAL & IMAGINED: LITTLE TOWN ON THE CORNER

You can find Mt. Holly on Google Maps, one lonely dot near the center of Shakopee. Zoom in and see that the city resides entirely on the corner of Third Avenue East and Holmes Street, across from the Scott County Jail. The town consists of a tidy 1940s bungalow and a single pine tree. Until very recently, Mt. Holly had but one resident: its mayor, Mike Haeg. The minuscule municipality experienced a three-hundred-percent population increase when Haeg’s wife and two children were granted citizenship by the mayor, also the town’s leading advocate of population control.

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REAL MEN WEAR PLAID

Despite a thin frame and a tendency to shiver uncontrollably, I’ve always been one to appreciate the cold. You won’t find me on the slopes or skating across a patch of ice, however, nor will you catch me clad in some ultra-light nylon parka. I simply don’t see the point in layering, instead preferring old-style jackets made of natural fabrics with big buttons. This Minnesotan’s main winter activity involves meandering through the city’s neighborhoods or around its lakes, collar up against the wind. When the weather turns especially bitter and I find myself outside alone, the city falls away and I imagine that I am a hero from a Jack London novel, facing doom on the great frozen tundra—even if it’s just Lake Calhoun.

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CONVERSATIONS REAL & IMAGINED: THE LAST PICTURE SHOW-ER

Local 219 of the International Union of Showbiz and Theater Entertainers was recently called to order over breakfast at the Edina Perkins. Bob Anderson, at seventy-nine still an imposing presence with broad shoulders and a strong handshake, pushed his omelet aside, pulled out some notes, and addressed his audience—myself and a waiter.

“There are about eight remaining union projectionists,” he explained. “Only a few of us are still working, and I’m the one with the most seniority …” He cleared his throat. “Which means I’ll probably be the next to go.”

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CONVERSATIONS REAL & IMAGINED: LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI

When Phil Harder has a hankering to check out a band at 7th Street Entry, he doesn’t have to hop in his car and drive downtown from his home on Marshall Street, just north of Broadway. In Harder’s neighborhood—a lovely admixture of industrial scrap yards, hip galleries, and such hangouts as the Sample Room and the 331 Club—it’s not uncommon for him to step out his back door and descend a treacherous flight of homemade stairs to the muddy banks of the Mississippi River. There, at a dock he shares with neighbors, Harder climbs into his salmon-colored, eighteen-foot Shell Lake Cuddy Cabin vintage motorboat. He can cruise into the city for a rock show, or, if the mood strikes, take a leisurely trip to shoot some footage for a music video or movie—or just sit and watch as houseboats, canoes, and ore barges drift on by.

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