Deadline for Submissions:

MARCH 1, 2006



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Friends of the Loaf

The Bug

Mudville Magazine

Janice Rideout Work

Janice Rideout Play

John Schilling

Sherrod Blankner

Brett Bull

Mark Lazar

Kristin Dean

Lesley Pearl

Ray Garcia

The Originals Project

Mystic Shake

Jeff Kallman

and the best record store on earth

© 2005 Loafers
WorldWide Network, Inc.


Iillustrations by John Schilling
(scanned from original Loafer's)


I think I've hit on an idea for a column for Loafers, one that ties to my second great passion in life (music: I've been a music lover since I was a little boy, and my grandmother defied my father's edict that "those things would not get ONE INCH through HIS door!" by buying me "The Beatles'
Second Album"):

I want to do a column called "Singles Going Steady" (the name belonged to a late 1970s album collecting the British singles of the punk group the Buzzcocks). Inspired by Dave Marsh's splendid book, "Rock and Soul Music: The 1001 Greatest Singles Ever Made," I want to do a regular column discussing what I think are the best singles ever made--rock, soul, jazz,blues, you name it (though I can't for the life of me think of any New Age or electronica/avant garde single beyond Brian Eno's "Seven Deadly Finns"; though that song was pretty much twisted rock and roll, the flip was anything but: it was an edit of Eno's trance-like collaboration with King Crimson guitarist Robert Fripp, "No Pussyfooting")--and what they meant to me, both in a personal sense as well as how I see them in the terms of the broader music picture. I agree with Marsh that a single in the jukebox or on the radio was, at its best, an irreplaceable part of our musical patrimony, but I probably would pick quite a few different entries into such a book as his than he did, even if I might have picked plenty of his choices for my own reasons.

I would not do them in any particular order of preference; indeed, I might well solicit suggestions for readers (all three of them ;) ) for possible subjects, but I think this could be an engaging column for music-loving Loafers, so long as I approach them with the same, shall we say, serious breeziness with which I approach baseball.

Let me know what you think. By 15 June, I could probably launch it with a good essay covering at least two and maybe three singles, and I could tell you right off the proverbial bat that the first column would include at least the Beatles' "She Loves You" and Gladys Knight and the Pips' "I
Heard It Through The Grapevine." (Jerry Wexler, the Atlantic producer, asked by a Columbia representative what he'd do for Aretha Franklin that Columbia couldn't, said, "We're gonna put her back in church." If "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" was any indication, Gladys Knight never LEFT church.)

What say ye?

J the K

Once again, I have to commend you on another fabulous issue. It is magazines such as yours that help to inspire and drive to distraction our citizens, and our soldiers. Please keep up the good work, or please get me my medication.


Billy J. Bennett

Hello. I grew up in NYC with a friend named Tom(my) Loretto, who lived on/around 105th st, and had 2 sisters (Elaine & Jackie, if memory serves). I've got a bunch of 35 yr old recordings on which he plays drums and various percussion, and was hoping to send him some copies.

One of the few Google results I've come up with was a Tom Loretto who has contributed to Loafer's Mag. Can someone assist me in determining whether these Tom Lorettos are one and the same?


Bob F.


Editor's response: No.

I started flipping through Loafers and noticed a similarity in titles between "Betelnut in Varanasi: Excerpt from a Novel-in-Progress" and this one: "Betel Nut in Papua New Guinea".



It would be extremely cool if I could buy a cheap, low quality t-shirt with the "Eat Me!" jam pot on the front.

Maybe something could be arranged with

Andy "Sacrifice" Dugas

Editor's response: No.

Loved the Loafer! Well designed. I like how the "classic covers" were feathered in at the bottom of the different pages. And of course, the sheer quality of the content really shines (ahem).

I would love to continue as a contributer and will send along something for your discriminating consideration. I've already emailed everyone I know about it.

Hey, here's an idea: how about a benefit poker tournament to raise funds for the Loaf? Fifty percent of the buyins go to costs. It could become de rigueur among the jet set!

Andy Dugas

I am *very* impressed at how you've captured the personality of Loafers on the site. This is just flat-out fantastic, and worth every penny.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.


Oh for crying out loud, you namby pamby editor type. If you're a man, chances are you have a penis. So, I'll say or write penis in my stories as I see fit. Penis, penis, penis!

How about, "Growing up in Los Angeles, Part One." Or, "A moderately revolting moment in my childhood, and a mini-profile of a friend I used to have." Not catchy enough? Too many words? How about, "An Unpublished Excerpt From the Memoirs of My Fabulous Life."

That's about the best I can come up with.


Congrats on getting Loafers out! Looks great! Am looking forward to reading your article and Janice's on truffels (Oh boy!) I only had time right now to just click on the magazine and review my own article - and I was so embarassed to discover a real bilingual gaff!. That is the "ouch". Namely when I titled the picture of my nephew, I wrote The Boy in the Flannel Hemd. I meant to write The Boy in the Flannel Shirt. "Hemd" is the German word for shirt. Sometimes my brain just overrides like that and I don't realize that I have combined the languages. I can't believe that I reread the article before I sent it off to you, but I still didn't notice this. (I also repeated a word in one sentece, but that isn't such a surprise.) Oh well, I guess this is why it is always good to have an independent proofreader before sending something in.

I'll write back with feedback on the articles as soon as I have read them.


Loafer's Magazine

"No Skepticism"

#14 Holiday 2005

Alpha Chimp
Peter Schilling Jr.

The Silverback
Andrew Clason

Banana Eating Lackeys
Peter Schilling Jr.
Andrew Clason

Now Starring
Pete und Will Clason!

Go West Young Man
John Schilling

No Longer Eating For Three
Sherrod Blankner

Thin as a fuckin' rail
Kurt & Donna Schmidt


Milind Angolkar
Sherrod Blankner
Brett Bull
Claudio Cambon
Andrew Clason
Todd Clason
Raymond Garcia
Jeff Kallman
Reef Loretto
Tom Loretto
Jon Pyle
Juli Runberg
R. J. Sandore
John Schilling
Peter Schilling Jr.

Steve Willis

as always,
Mix D. Mixford
President and Spirtual Guide

Music Gratefully Provided by
Dick & Dave

Film Reviewer
Guillaume Fresno

Your Brewmeister
Wade Johnson

The Best Ding Writer You Done Never Heard Of
Brad Zellar

Prodigal Son
Jon Pyle