Rap-sody

Gabe Angieri

Here is a mock rap song I wrote for my son last year. Let me know if it makes the cut.

If you can't sing a note then it don't really matter
If you have putrid grammar it makes the bro's gladder,
Then you throw in some jive and it makes you sound badder,
That's how you know you is rappin.

You can alienate very part of society
Start snortin coke and to hell with sobriety
Give the bird to adults and to their false piety
That' when you know you is rappin

(Chorus)

Yes, I'm a rapper,
a F--- 'n toe tapper
Now don't I look dapper
In That Cellophane wrapper.

Now throw in some violence, it make you look cooler
Cap some ho's and some pig's and you'll feel like da ruler
Stuff a sock in your pants and you'll certainly fool her.
Now you know you you is rappin.

(Chorus again)

Yes, I'm a rapper,
a F--- 'n toe tapper
Now don't I look dapper
In That Cellophane wrapper.

Gangsta - - that's me, my notoriety's grown
I wear gold chains and the benjamin's flowin.
But I still wear pants with my underwear showin
You better believe I is rappin.

Loafer's Magazine

"No Skepticism"

#13 Spring 2005

Your Host
Peter Schilling Jr.

Master O' Ceremonies
Andrew Clason

Editors, for lack of a better word
Peter Schilling Jr.
Andrew Clason

Featuring
Fodlund Family Circus

Tron
John Schilling

Iron Chef Minnesota
Janice Rideout

Inaugural Weenie
H.R.H. George W. Bush

CONTRIBUTORS INCLUDE:

Gabe Angieri
Paul Bernstein
Horst Blessing
Claudio Cambon
Chippendale G.O.P
Andrew Clason
Todd Clason
Andrew Dugas
Abhay Ghiara
Kim Greene
Tom Loretto
Reuben Saltzman
Janice Rideout
Pamela Rosengard
John Schilling
Peter Schilling Jr.
but no
Kurt Schmidt

as always,
Mix D. Mixford
President and Spirtual Guide

Massages
Lesley Pearl

music gratefully provided by
John Ashcroft

Entertainment and an unfinished Kitchen
Wade & Kimberly

The Best Ding Writer You Done Never Heard Of
John Fante

New Dogs on the Block:
Margot
Newton (no relation to Gingrich)
Callie
Reese
the other Greyhound
Cosmo